Do You Know The Muffin Man?
by Crazy Chicks
Summary: Total wackiness due to sugar overload. What happens when Yugi and Yami get sucked into Candyland. *Yaoi*
1. Default Chapter

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

Author's Notes:

Shime: Our first piece of crap! --- *pauses* --- I mean 'work'!

Kitty: ---I think I have a sugar hangover if that's even possible!

Shime: *nods her head sagely* I agree. *thinks* Wonder if there's an aspirin for ice cream over-dosage ---

Warnings/Disclaimers:

Shime: We don't own YGO nor the song, "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" 

Kitty: Nor do we own the idea/concept of Candyland or Wizard of Oz.

Shime: *grins insanely* Watch out for swearing, hentai-ish thoughts and innuendos, and also for a whole bunch of senseless crap. Oh and this is also AU too.

Kitty: *chuckles* And no we don't mean this is gold cuz if it was, we'd be rich as hell.

Shime: Oh warning: Kitsune is just another one of my mucho mucho aliases. *snickers* I tend to use myself as well as other people in my life as some Ocs so --- yeah.

Kitty: -___-;; Good grief ---

Characters:

Yugi: the innocent mortal

Yami: The Egyptian Magician

Bakura: The White Bandit

Malik: The Blonde Bandit

Seto: The Muffin Man

Kitsune (Shime): One of the Seductive Female Robbers

Kitty: One of the Seductive Female Robbers (turns good, goes with Malik)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In the beginning of a "Sailor Moon" Episode ---

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yugi: *eating a bowl of ice cream singing* Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by day~light! Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!

Yami: *who just walked in* --- /Who is this 'Sailor Moon'?/

Yugi: She is the one named Sailooooor!

Yami: /Wait. Has he gone straight?!?! What has this Earth come to?!?!?/

Yugi: Sailor Venus! Sailor Mercury! Sailor Mars, Mars, Mars! Sailor Jupiter!

Yami: *horrified* /ÉOh no! Not only has he gone straight --- he has his own *harem*!!! WHAT ABOUT ME, DAMMIT!?!?!?!/

Yugi: With secret powers all so new to her! She is the one named Sailor Moon!

Yami: /This is *wrong*! This is *injustice*!/ *continues to weep pitifully in his head*

Yugi: *stops singing* Yami? What's wrong?

Yami: /Have you forgotten about me? What about all the times we shared in the park?! The beach?! The damn freakin' bed?! Do I mean *nothing* to you?!?! Do I?!?!?/

Yugi: Yami --- *suggestively* --- I've had a whole lot of suuuuugaaaaar ---

Yami: / --- Thank you, Ra./

Yugi: *suddenly glows pink*

Yami: /Oh Ra! Out of all the stinking colors there are in the world, he had to glow pink! --- Wait a minute --- GLOW PINK?!?!?/

Yugi: Yami! *disappears with a "poof"*

Yami: Yugi?! Yugi!! *goes on his knees and cries like a little girl* Noooooooooo!

Little Pink Bunny Rabbit: *skeptically* Dude. You're glowing pink too.

Yami: Oh really? *looks at himself* So I am --- *pauses* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - *takes in a breath* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - *disappears*

~*~*~*~*

Yugi: *wakes up groggily* Where am I?  
Little Pink Bunny Rabbit: *taps his foot* You're in Candyland.

Yugi: Can-Candyland?  
Little Pink Bunny Rabbit: *glares* No the moon.

Yugi: Moon?  
Little Pink Bunny Rabbit: *slaps his forehead* Oh god. *starts to talk real slowly* You. Yugi. Me. Little Pink Bunny Rabbit also known as LPBR. Yugi is in Candyland. Do you understand me? C.A.N.D.Y.L.A.N.D.

Yugi: *smiles* Candyland!

LPBR: Exactly *how* much sugar did you have?

Yugi: *giggles* Lots.

LPBR: Oh god. Ra save us all!

Yugi: By the way Bunny how the hell is it possible for you to speak?!

LPBR: The *name* is either Little Pink Bunny Rabbit *or* LPBR. LEARN TO RESPECT THE NAME!!!!

Yugi: O___O O-k-kay --- I'm in Candyland. There's a pink bunny rabbit, no wait, a *talking* pink bunny rabbit. Ra, have I gone insane?

LPBR: No you haven't. In fact --- *holds up a chalkboard* I bet you can even answer this tiny little question. *puts on a fake pair of glasses* Now. What is the square root of nine hundred sixty five point nine?  
Yugi: /*what Yugi hears* Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah!/ Come again?  
LPBR: *sweatdrops* Forget it. *gets out a recorder* Note to self: stupidity *is* hereditary.

Yugi: Hey!

LPBR: Yup. *takes off his glasses* At least you understood that.

Yugi: Uhhhhhh ---

LPBR: *taps his foot* I shall now take you to my master.

Yugi: But I don't wanna!

LPBR: Too bad, buddy. *grabs Yugi and drags him away*

~*~*~*~* Somewhere else ---

Yami: FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD GO ROB SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

Bakura: I'll rob whoever I damn please! *laughs out loud for emphasis*

Malik: *glares* This is *supposed* to be a robbery. Not a debate.

Bakura: But I was having fuuuuun ---

Yami: WHERE THE FUCK AM I AND WHO ARE YOU FREAKIN' PEOPLES?!?!?!

Bakura: *raises an eyebrow* You are in Candyland.

Bakura & Marik: *shiver*

Yami: Um --- you two look a lot like Bakura and Malik ---

Malik: BASTARD!!! *throws Yami to the ground* How did you find out our names? *holds a knife to Yami's throat* Who are you? Who do you work for? Who's your leader? Is --- could it be --- *glares* Could you work for the MUFFIN MAN?!?!?

Bakura: *pales* T-t-the Muffin Man?

Kitty: MUFFY! 

All three boys: Who are you?

Kitty: *glares and puts her hands on her hips* None of your frickin' business.

Yami: Who are you?

Kitty: Didn't I just say, 'None of your frickin' business.'?"

Yami: Yes but you still haven't' told us who you are.

Kitty: *bangs her head on a tree* Why me? Why?!!?!??!!

Yami: So --- who are you?  
Kitty: *sighs* I'm nothing more than an innocent girl who lost her family.

Yami: -------------------------------- I don't believe you!

Kitty: *brandishes a sword* You'd better believe it!

Yami: -------------------- Okay Miss Girl-Who-Has-No-Family.

Kitty: *grins* That's better. *thinks* /Now how do I seduce them one-by-one and then rob them? Ahh well. So many young guys --- so little time --- Where the hell is Kitsune anyway?/

Kitsune: *comes out from behind a bush* Did you SEE that?!?! 

Kitty: See what?

Kitsune: *grins* I just saw a pink bunny rabbit running across the fields towards us with a funky little tri-colored head boy following him - Ohmygawd that's him! *points hysterically at Yami* B-b-but how did you get here when you were there?! *rubs her forehead* I knew it. Too many robberies in one day --- I need to lie down.

Kitty: *puts a hand over Kitsune's mouth* YOU IDIOT! You're not supposed to spill!

Kitsune: Spill? Spill?! Ohhhhh. *SPILL*!!!!

Kitty: *returns to banging her head on a tree* Why me? Why did god have to give me such a hentai-ish friend? Why?! It's such a cruel cruel fate too ---

Kitsune: *still snickering* Spill. 

Kitty: Oh go spill Ryuu!

Kitsune: *wide eyes* But I can't spill Ryuu! He can only spill himself!

Kitty: O_____O --- My god. I did not want to hear that ---

Yami: So who's this?

Kitty: NOT THIS AGAIN!!!! *sighs* I guess we'll have to introduce ourselves.

Kitsune: *gives the guys a grin* I'm Kitsune!

Kitty: I'm Kitty. 

Kitsune: *gives them an innocent look* Could you guys let us come with you? We just lost our family and we have nowhere to go!! 

Kitty: We're orphans. The both of us. *looks up at the sky* It's such a cold, cold world ---

Bakura & Malik: *decide to take the both of them in cuz they look nice and sexy*

Kitsune: /Works every time/

Kitty: Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase? *looks at Malik* /Cute --- must not drool --- Wait. He's my victim! I can't call him 'cute'!/

Yugi: *appears* Yami!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kitsune: So what'd ya think?

Kitty: Crazy enough for ya?  
Kitsune: *nods her head* We've had had a whole lot of sugar. So don't' blame us.

Kitty: No flames, no blames --- um --- what rhymes with flames and blames?

Kitsune: NO SHAME!

Kitty: Uh obviously. 


	2. Chapter 2

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

Author's Notes:

Shime: Um, rated R for obvious reasons?

Kitty: *starts to tick off using her fingers* Swearing, sexual situations, double entendres --- and a whole bunch of loony talk.

Shime: YGO doesn't belong to us. How sad.

Characters:

Yugi: the innocent mortal

Yami: The Egyptian Magician

Bakura: The White Bandit

Malik: The Blonde Bandit

Seto: The Muffin Man

Kitsune (Shime): One of the Seductive Female Robbers

Kitty: One of the Seductive Female Robbers (turns good, goes with Malik)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Chapter 2

Yugi: *appears* Yami!!!!!!!!

Yami: *disbelievingly* Yugi?!?!!?!?

Yugi: Yaaaaamiiiiiiii!

Yami: Yuuuuuuugiiiiii!

Kitty: My god, shut up!!!!

Yugi & Yami: *shuts up*

Kitty: *smiles* Thank you.

Kitsune: --- Who are these people again? They look alike. *peers at the two* Are you two twin brothers? *pales when Yugi starts to make out with Yami* Incest --- incest I tell you ---

Kitty: *shivers*

Kitsune: *points a finger at the pair* INCEST! INCEST! IncestIncestIncestIncestIncestIncestIn- *faints*

Kitty: -___- Idiot ---

Yugi: *blinks innocently* But we're not brothers ---

Kitty: YOU MIND TELLING HER THAT *BEFORE* SHE GOES INTO OVERLOAD AND FAINTS?!?!?!

Yugi: Um --- she didn't ask.

Kitty: *sweatdrops* Oh lordy-lord ---

Kitsune: *gets up all of a sudden* So you're not twin brothers huh? *starts to grin* You're twin *lovers*!!! *starts to dance wildly while singing* They're not twin brothers! But they're twin *lovers*!!

Kitty: Here we go again --- *smashes her on the head with a boomerang*

Kitsune: *sees little Yugi and Yami plushies dancing around her head* Muffy --- I see two lovers --- two twin lovers --- *faints again*

LPBR: *gasps* I know who you two are!

Kitty: *blinks*

LPBR: *takes a dramatic pause* You are the-

Kitsune: *eye twitches* Say that again I *dare* you.

LPBR: *screaming his ass off cuz he's on a roast*

Kitty: *grins* Oooh look. Barbecue!

Kitsune: *double grins* Yup. Roast Rabbit on a stick!

Kitty: *adds* With sweet and sour sauce! Such a cruel cruel fate for the little pink bunny ---

LPBR: Hey, hey! The *name* is the Little Pink Bunny Rabbit! *Or* you could just say LPBR! *shakes his head* Kids these days --- no respect, I tell you. No respect at all ---

Kitsune: --------------- Okay, Mr. LPBR! *continues to shake pepper and salt on him*

LPBR: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Kitsune: *hands him a handkerchief*

LPBR: What the hell is this for?  
Kitsune: O___O The bunny swears ---

Kitty: BAD BUNNY!

Kitsune: *looks at LPBR* Weren't you going to sneeze?

LPBR: -____- Someone kill me. Please.

Kitsune: With pleasure. *goes towards him with a fork*

Bakura: Isn't that cruelty to animals?  
Kitsune: *already has the LPBR halfway in her mouth* Wha?

Kitty: Ewwww! He's still raw!!

Kitsune: ? Mmph? Mrrrmmphmrrrrmph? (Translation: So? Does it really look like I care?)

Kitty: Er --- um --- no.

Kitsune: See!

Kitty: Okay! Pink. Bunny. Out. Mouth. NOW!!!!

Kitsune: -___- Sheesh. 

Kitty: *taps her foot* NOW!

Kitsune: *lowers her head as she spits out the LPBR*

LPBR: *shakes* Thank Ra --- Thank Ra --- *kisses the ground* I love you, ground! I love you, Earth! I love you, Candyland!

Kitsune: ÂÂ Give me a break ---

Kitty: *sings* Give me a break! Give me a break!

Everyone else: I wanna take a piece of that Kit-Kat-

Kitty & Kitsune: Bar!!!

LPBR: O___O ------- I want out!!!!

Kitsune: Out? Out of where? *gets a hentai-ish grin* Ohhhhhh. *That* out! 

Kitty: -___-;; Bunnies don't hump. Or at least --- *ponders* --- I think they don't ---

Kitsune: *blinks* But I thought they did, or do! Or ---

Kitty: Does it really matter?

Kitsune: ----------------- Yeah!!! Of course it does!!!

Everyone else: ---

Kitty: --- Let's go find Muffy!

Bakura & Malik: HELL NO!!! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WE'RE THAT FUCKED UP TO GO THE FUCKING MUFFIN MAN'S FUCKING HOUSE?!?!?!?

Kitsune: *jaw drops* Whoa.

Kitty: Double whoa. 

Kitsune: BAD INFLUENCE ON THE KIDDIES, YOU TWO!

Kitty: --- But isn't this rated R?

Kitsune: --- My bad.

Kitty: So let's go find the Muffin Man. *looks at Yugi and Yami* /Heh. Heh. The boss'll be *very* pleased/

Kitsune: /--- Rabbit soup! Um --- how does the recipe go again?/

Kitty: So Kitsune, do you think we should drag them there or worse. *gets an evil grin* Make them carry us there.

Kitsune: /--- I know!/ I know! *holds up a hand*

Kitty: Yeeeeees?

Kitsune: LET'S MAKE RABBIT SOUP! AND I FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT CONTAINS! *smiles* TURTLE!!!

Kitty: *anime falls*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Shime: *smiles* I like Kitsune ---

Kitty: She's you, you idiot!

Shime: --- That's right.


End file.
